The End to 2008

I've had an unconventional recent few weeks which includes: 4 White Elephant Exchanges, 3 hours of rock band to welcome Christmas,  1 'onesie' Christmas party, 1 holiday hot pot, 1/2 a bottle of truffle oil used for holiday fries, 1 phantom vintage bike, and the most daunting Christmas gift ever given to a 25 year old - a 5 year diary ... It has been a perfect end to 2008.  

Problems

I can't say sandwich in French - Rosetta stone recognition won't allow me progress to be the Ambassador to France.  "Un Sandwich"... "Un Sandwich"... "Un Sandwich"

Sunday At the Flea Market

I had the periodic pleasure of going to the (world's famous) antique flea market in Alameda today.  Imagine, 3 hours of roaming - going through rows and rows of jewelry, furniture, chachkis, dolls, and poodles .  Ever time I go - I feel like my $5 admission is fully utilized - even when I return to my car empty handed - it's like roaming through a museum - except it's much colder.  I always try to find poodle objects - found 2.

I so love to take pictures every time!  They are odd and ephemeral.

Fil was pretty darn lucky.  We spotted a set of 5 Eames beige fiber glass stackable  chairs - from the beginning of our route.  This was precisely what he had been dreaming about for 6 months!  We decided to come back as this was still early in our trek.  Finally at 2pm, as he did not find anything (apart from an old scuffed up leather Member's Only Jacket that he tried on) that captivated his interest - we walked briskly to the stall that had the 5 chairs.  Unfortunately, only 3 were left - but the lady gave him a wonderful price on 2.  

I've also reasoned that in the future when I finally get a home I can call my own - I will be growing herbs in a baby tub.  Oh yes - and I do want a small vanity mirror.

Among the memorable treasures I found today was a circa 19th century 18K gold wind up pocket watch for somewhere at $500.  The details were gorgeous and SO notable - the face of the watch itself was made of light blue porcelain - the exterior of the watch had many a hand etched stars.  The man was kind enough to let me hold and stare at it - fully knowing that I was not a prospective buyer.  I really should of gotten a picture.

Walking for 3 hours in the cold is tough - but looking over the pictures makes it so worthwhile.

I Think I Will

I kind of just want to try my hand at something new.  Life isn't meant to be wasted on work, television and the occasional interesting news article.  I have to get out there and make an effort - explore the world even within the boundaries of the Bay Area.  Part of the reason why I decided to get into a less stressful work environment was precisely for my benefit of building various dimensions of myself.  I don't want to find myself  years from now watching a 7th season of 30 Rock pondering what ifs during commercial breaks...  I need to get into the groove of planning out my evenings of the week wisely - noting that I shouldn't end my days with hopeful thoughts of nothing.  

If anything, I will get a chance to people watch, food watch, and have a small income that I can dedicate to a selfish cause (like future furniture).  If anything, I will learn how to make myself useful when there are spills or serving is necessary.  These are life skills.  I feel so awkward when I am at parties and what nots - I can't serve, period.  I dread my birthday when I have to cut the cake.  How do I divide things evenly.   It's time to get out there and get my hands dirty.  Yes, I think I will try my hand at catering.  

Miscellanies of 12.2.08

Chocolate covered pretzels are very good.

Thermals are a God-send particularly when you go home to a house that is not heated due to a general cost cutting strategy.

"Hunt and Peck" - I recently read a short story in the New Yorker (dated 12/1/08, page 65 'In Other Rooms, Other Wonders").  The witty descriptive number was used to describe character Husna's method in using the typewriter.

Prodigious - I heard someone use this word at work - I certainly do not remember the context of it.  "remarkably or impressively great in extent, size or degree: the stove consumed a prodigious amount of fuel."  Yes, my vocabulary is lackluster.

For New Year's Eve, I want to wear a modestly made paper crown at a dinner party and sing 'Auld Lang Syne' at the stroke of 12.  Small excerpt:

"Should old acquaintances be forgotten,

And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And days of long ago !"

Why is it that I always get extremely tired at 11pm and after taking a 5 minute nap find myself ready to have fun in the wee hours?

Slumdog Millionaire

Directed by Danny Boyle.  

Picture this - a young boy named Jamal Malik sits in the hot seat of India's 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'.  Rupees and love are on the line.  The questions serve as a table of contents to the young boy's life.  In it we learn about his hardship growing in Mumbai starting at the bottom of the bottom - and we see how destiny brings him to this point.  He's been a lucky boy. 

Although the film is not incredibly surprising, it gives the viewer a chance to see presence of the strong caste system in the emerging country, India.  Films like these are valuable in that the viewer gets a chance to see the day to day lives of developing countries poor folk without feeling the full on guilt one gets from stumbling across a World Vision infomercial.  

The film is generally quite good.  Dare I say that - I wouldn't be surprised if this were somehow nominated for some Oscar? 

P.S. The Bollywood dancing in the credits at the train station kicks arse.

My Car's Talking And I Am Listening

My dad was right about the VW.  I just didn't expect it to happen so quickly.   I always thought that I was different and the exception - and that I could avoid all things harmful.  (I still think I can drink water in far away places without getting diarrhea).  It's ticking at me - in sporadic silly beats.  This conversation is provoked by using my car's blinkers.  I don't know...He was right.  

Should have seen the writing on the wall when - the car's battery broke down all but 5 days after I purchased it.  Thank goodness for AAA.

I still love my choice in car by the way.

Mon Oncle

'Mon Uncle' is a humorous satirical French film about modernity.  The film had won an Oscar in 1958 for "Best Foreign Film".  It juxtaposes the cold sterility of modern life placed against the warmth of the rustic neighborhood showing the old way of French life.  Although the film does not exhibit a strong story line nor does it have very much dialogue - it is a series of frames showing people's lives living in a pivotal time in the 20th century where one has a choice of whether to live in the 'modern' world or embrace more rustic options.  

One can sense director Jacques Tati's (who also happens to be the main character, Monsieur Hulot ) apprehensive response to cold impractical modernity.  Tati's personal appreciation for older times is seen as he uses a welcoming accordion tune when showing life in an older part of town and the polar opposite silent soundtrack Tati uses when showing modern spaces. In a small way, this film makes to reflect upon my all to eager enthusiasm for the modern objects (i.e. furniture, architecture).  Am I just a poser like Monsieur Hulot's sister?

One thing is certain, through this film I have learned to potentially cause havoc to pedestrians through the means of innocent whistling.

Quick Reflection

Although I am not particularly thrilled about my lack of direction in career, I am happy that I am at least 10% more healthy as compared to this past May.  I am much more balanced in general.  I finally have time in the evenings to browse books, internet, watch some telly - be normal.  As an auditor, I feel like career was painstakingly 80% of my life whereas now career is like 65% of my life.  My year of 2008 has taught me that we don't need to be absolutely career defined to be satisfied. 

I think I have to go back to my former mantra of simply trying to improve myself as a person - not just financially but in other areas such as becoming better informed about the world around me, coming out of my comfortable introvert snail shell, and having better intentions towards man kind.  It's hard to measure these things...I just hope that one day - someday will say that I am absolutely a beautiful person - inside and out.

The Presentation

Fil calls this the calm before the storm. In a few short days, I will be partly responsible for the mauvelous spread that's to be presented at Fil's house for thanksgiving. While most people, including Fil, worry about getting the turkey just right.. I am thinking most about how great my sweet potato fries dipping lion-head containers are going to be during appetizer time. I think it's my destiny to serve and host. I can't even begin to express how exciting it will be when I host my first house get-together. Life's in the details – is it not?

Arms Are Underused And Surviving Friday At Home

Arms
I think arms are so very under used. Our legs transport us from our bed to the bathroom to the kitchen to the bedroom to the bathroom to the car to the work to the break room to the bar to the bed. What about the arms -they are so under utilzed. They seem to only exist for the purpose of transporting our all important hands and fingers.

I am also going to do more dancing with my arms. Watch out friends!

Friday At Home

This evening, I took a walk with Nathaniel and Snapple. I resolved to fully take advantage of the walk - for the entire 30 minutes - I did an obnoxious power walk swing with my arms. When I sensed the lights of the cars coming ahead - I quickly transformed my flailing to mild swings.

I just washed dishes while listening to Erlend Oye's album 'Unrest'. It takes the drudge away from washing dishes. Friday's at home aren't so bad - you can look beyond the fact that you aren't at a cool bar with a drink in your hand. What's next on the list of exciting possibilities this glamorous Friday? A 180 minute documentary of Andy Warhol. woo.

Welcomed Home

Had a fairly rough day today - moments of slow slow moments stuck in a small conference room. Reminded of me very much of life as an auditor - feeling the peer pressure to 'work through' lunch, feeling the peer pressure to stick around beyond 8 hours, being physically lethargic, feeling my mid-section grow as I was hunched over a laptop, feeling a sense of claustrophobia - as I'm fully surrounded by cables, wires, post-it notes, dust, pens, papers, snacks. Today truly revived some of those ill-remembered moments. Thankfully, when I arrived home - I had a couple servings of linguini and clams (courtesy of my Pops who didn't have to work today) and a small serving of his attempt at lemon tart. Who knew that simple consumption could mass even the most crappy of days...?

Claire De Lune Composed By Debussy

It truly is an autumn day.  The sun simply refuses to come out.  This weather is perfect for photography lighting for its mild true to being colors reflected outside.  I love it.  I don't even feel the need to get out of the house.  I am highly content in catching up with a little bit of reading and the soaking in the warmth of a big sweatshirt.

I love this song - though it is probably widely recognized as "that song in the Chanel commercial staring Nicole Kidman and the sexy guy 'Carl' from the movie "Love Actually".  I love it despite this association.

It makes me want to cry - there's something beautiful in how it starts out so quiet and timid. Things are quite delicate and fragile - but while it builds up to strength 1/3rd of the way of the song - it meekly trickles and then trickles.  After the trickles, it's as if the piano comes out fully strong and bold without fear - then goes back to its nature of being shy.

Sorry Bob.

I have to lay some guilt off my chest.  Back in 2006 in the quarter I was about to graduate from University, I had made an unfulfilled promise.  I was working as a student assistant at the Center for International Education Department on campus.  I had made acquaintances with Bob, one the University Courier Personnel.  Bob was a white dude in his late 40's wore sunglasses all the time, had a small frame with a mid-aged belly, wore a silver wiry ponytail consistently in his every day repertoire.  He was generally a very open person willing to chatting to any and everyone.  In our numerous sessions of small talk - Bob came to know of my post - graduating plans of taking a 2.5 month backpack trip.  One day, he handed me a $10 (or $20) and told me that I needed to promise that I would send him a postcard from every country visited.  Guess what? I promised, said goodbye - and I never once sent one postcard.  To Bob: "Sorry, Bob - I never fulfilled my end of the bargain.  The guilt will haunt me forever" 

Best Show Experience of 2008, I'm betting

As I am formulating my thoughts, I'm pretty sure Zooey Dechanel of the band 'She & Him' is performing a beautiful song such as "You Really Got A Hold On Me" as she is scheduled to perform a second night (tonight!) at the SF North Beach venue, Bimbo's 365.  I was fortunate to have sneaked a photo despite the no camera policy.  Let's just say that really cheap periwinkle sleeveless blouses come in handy in hiding bulges.

Last night marked the attendance of my 4th musical show of the year, three of which have regrettably fallen on hapless Sundays.  Despite the odds, I enjoyed the fact that 'She & Him' got on stage at 9.30ish, staying on a little past and hour.  I was able to sleep well throughout the Sunday night without suffering the normal feverish chills I have experienced from other shows (as the result of extreme temperature conditions from other shows - Cough! Cut Copy).

Things were short and sweet, at least for me.  I remember looking over at Phil - hoping to find unbridled enthusiasm.  Instead, the man had a few half smiles.  Looks like the show had a lot of boyfriends with blank stares.

I was left yearning for more.  Zooey's voice was a bold boom, low and well honey like.  M. Ward's second voice when present added a subtle beautiful melancholy sound.  BTW, I think M.Ward is something of a music god.

I really feel that my having listened and seen "She and Him" is indeed opening the door to my appreciation to many things beyond your standard 'electronic',  'sub-pop' sounds.  I beginning to enjoy the winey twang of the steel guitar accompanied by of the clanging of the piano.

I love enjoying life.

them

Word Smart I

Over the summer, I determined in my heart to build strong my vocabulary.  I have been using the highly esteemed Princeton Review 'Word Smart' as my source.  I was strong in the summer, now that heat has chilled and I have only  mastered from A to the mid C's.  I am going to make a better effort to move on to the D's.

I cleaned my workspace today - and am beginning to feel 100% better!  I hate clutter, though I am the very cause of clutter.  Now, all I need is a few postcards/pictures.  Let's hope I don't feel too settled and then end up getting fired.

veggies and fitness - oh my!

I went running on the treadmill - it's been a long time since I have ran - since my leg was in pain. Sadly, I do feel that  "deep down' pain in my heart of my right thigh.  O boy, I can't wait to get really old.  Feel like Charlie Brown. Humbug.

Today's exciting moment of the day started when at the Company fridge. I grabbed my usual Tuesday lunch (i.e. sushi) AND grabbed a vegetable platter with tuna as dip.  What a great combination!  I would recommend it to anyone as a somewhat healthy lunch - it had dip ready strips of celery, red bell peppers, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and a small thing of tuna.  

Oh, and I did get my Comme last Friday.  Yes, it's very musky - must be the cardamom. I'm thinking of mixing it with a lavender scent one of these days.

Peri"wrinkle" Top

Had a great weekend. Went to Old Navy Saturday morning after depositing my weekly pay - hoping to find either a good deal or basic cardigan.  I found this modern number at Old Navy - one of a kind!  I only found this one apparently just in my size, priced at $9.99.  Sure the blouse isn't made of silk but surely 78% rayon, 22% nylon with a shell of 100% polyester should suffice, eh?  It has a scrunched elastic bottom (great for hiding the stomach) and a subtle detail in the middle, notice the middle crease?  I waited for Fil to come to the store - so I could get a hearty 20% discount.  He also ended buy 2 long sleeves himself (one plaid with pink lines, one I would like to call the 'modern cowboy' shirt) - the total for all 3 items?  $13.80.  Hours later, I took a butchers at the receipt and found out my shirt had only been $2.00 - thus securing a $.40 discount, thanks to Fil.  Wow, I've never bought anything this wonderfully cheap.  OK, I have to admit - Fil paid for this one.  Thanks Fil!

Egg Salad Sandwiches

I visited my dear friend Rhoda in SF a couple of weeks ago - we were both set on thrifty mode. She made me a really great egg salad sandwich.  Isn't life about enjoying the simple things?  We browsed furniture shops after - t'was a good afternoon.

The thing I love about egg salad sandwiches are - they are so easy to chew into.  -- :) My personal PBJ substitute.  Also, all those hard boiled eggs remind me of a more innocent time.

See the above picture....I just had the second pleasure of eating one this past Saturday at Bakesale Bettys located in the Temescal Neighborhood in Berkeley.  The bread was fresh - there wasn't too much mayo it was surrounded by spinach .  Phil and I shopped our socks off after.

Yesterday, I had a third egg salad sandwich courtesy of the Company.  It was good - I think they may have had a few tiny bits of tiny red and green jalapenos.  Nothing great happened at after work.

I want to construct the best egg salad sandwich - that would ddd-definitely entail putting the egg salad in a super fresh puffy croissant - I would go light on the mayo.

C'mon ... Where's My Comme Des Garcons?

Seriously -- I've been waiting since Thursday...I thought it was coming from freaking neighbor state Arizona. THIS is completely analogous to waiting to see if I can get that Sales & Order Administrator position I applied for Thursday, the very same day the I ordered CDG.  Funny thing is like that CDG scent, I don't really know whether that Sales & Order Administrator position - will complement me.  

CDG sounds good on paper -

"...cardomom, cinnamon, nutmeg, clover, black pepper, clove, nutmeg, honey, floral notes, amber, labdanum, cedar, sandlalwood pepper, clove..."

S&O Adminstrator sounds good on paper -

"Administer the order approval and entry process utilizing Salesforce.com and Oracle Service Contracts.  Assist in planning and organizing marketing and sales activities which may include offsite events and meetings.  Assist with various projects - including sourcing lead lits, identifying new markets, etc."

Smelling/Doing is a whole other thing... 

Why do I hate waiting for the unknown?

Drinking Chocolate

  Going 

 ..going

... gone.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Empathy is one of the rich feelings, one feels when watching "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly". Through Julian Schnabel's crafty directing, I was able to experience a slice of how Jean-Dominique Bauby lived in his final year. Bauby was the former editor of the French Elle Magazine in the 1990's. He was living the successful high life when suddenly his world came crashing down as he was struck with a stroke paralyzing him completely save for one side of his face.

In the movie, we understand his internal thoughts which run the progression of feelings: frustration, fury, self-pity, acceptance, regret and finally empowerment. Bauby's only form of communication post stroke is through one eye alone. He overcomes his grief and self-pity by clinging on to his imagination and memories. His persistence peaks as he writes an auto-biography in the hospital - by painstakingly communicating each letter to his assistant - slowly through one bat of an eye at a time.

All in all the movie was beautiful for its subject matter, music, and cinematography. I would like to read Bauby's book - I imagine I would try to embrace each word. The human mind is a powerful thing.

Comme Des Garcons Original Eau De Parfum

"What's that you got on, is it Comme De Garcons?" (penned by poet Gwen Stefani via ballad 'Harajuku Girls' courtesy of boyfriend who has a fixation on femme fatale top 40).

I'm awaiting my 100ml of Comme Des Garcons original Eau de Parfum - ordered on Ebay for the sweet price of $38. I believe the retail for this fragrance is somewhere around $120. I must admit I am taking a big 100ml risk here as I have never smelled it before.

My small interest in this 100ml protagonist - was conceived while in Montmarte, Paris this past January. I remember stepping into a small wife/husband shop -- I don't remember the name of the shop - I just remember loving the fact that they had a variety of clothes, furniture, jewelry - of which I'm sure each item was passionately hand picked. I recall seeing a bottle of the Comme Des Garcons Original Eau de Parfum in a glass case - one of the two fragrances sold at the boutique. Of what little French I knew, I remember learning 'Garcons' (meaning 'boy' in French) from a scene from Pulp Fiction. Of course as always, I was too shy to ask if I could smell the parfum in the case. When I arrived back to the States, I remember kicking myself figuratively for my passivity. Plagued with guilt, I ordered myself to circulate various departments stores and perfume shops - hoping to experience a whiff of the original. The closest I came to finding it was - at San Francisco's Bloomindales where - the lady behind the counter said - "I thought we had it .."

To run parallel to the sweet ending of many Disney movies with the conclusion "they lived happily ever after..." - so will my very own Comme Des Garcons and I live...

The brand actually is Japanese. As I am slowly realizing many modern material goods comes from Japan. Anyways, I have taken the liberty to steal a description of this original from a fellow blogger: " the avant garde fashion line's first fragrance, launched in 1994 with the tag line "works like a medicine and behaves like a drug". The notes include cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, black pepper, clove, nutmeg, honey, floral notes, amber, labdanum, cedar and sandalwood."

I'll be sure to document my experience.

Chicken Feed

My Snapple is dead scared of his tin dog bowl - this has gone on since he was a poopy. In the past few months, he's prefers us to serve it to him like chicken feed. I love Snapple.

If I Ever Feel Better

It seems like there are some of us who have had a hapless 2008 - counterintuitive to chinese superstition - well it is modern day - this poem/song makes me feel, well - better:

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all
I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that' s fading away

You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away
Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times
But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...

No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost
Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after all
Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't ewait, I can't wait, I can't wait...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know
If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away

Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how
They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive

I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know


"If I Ever Feel Better" sung by french band "Phoenix"

BYOW At Chinese Restaurants

In this economic downturn and my personal crisis in my career, I find that eating out has sadly become a lower priority on my list. It's not even a choice - my hungry piggy demands it. This brings me to brainstorm just how I might - when given the chance to treat myself to a meal - maximize my dining experience without breaking the bank.

Just last Sunday, I accompanied Phil and his family to a restaurant named Ka Pok located on Webster St, Alameda, California, USA, Earth, Milky Way. I really enjoyed my dining experience there - in short - it recently went through a change in management, there is always a crowd, they serve free really amazing chinese soup (with full pieces of meat), free appetizer (consisting of iceberg lettuce, strips of cold white chicken, jellyfish, drizzled with sesame oil and garnished with sesame seeds), free dessert (standard in most chinese restaurants served to you provided that you are chinese yourself). I am digressing about free stuff, am I not? Apart from all the free stuff I've mentioned, I just like the selection and quality of the food.

I saw a table with a bottle of wine, and moments later saw a crab dish with sticky rice on another table. Phil's mom helped me ask the waiter just how much the corkage fee was --ta da-- 5 bucks! You can't beat that. My take away from Sunday night was one of these privileged fridays - I must drop by Trader Joe's - grab a bottle of white - which states that pairs well with Chinese food - head to Ka Pok and order the crab dish with the sticky rice. Sure the ambiance will not be there - but that's what the wine is for! I must say that the whole bring your own wine (BYOW) idea is derived from when Phil and I were in Bath, England - chowing at an Indian restaurant - which totally promoted bringing your own wine. I remember we slipped across the street after ordering and crossed the street to a small wine shop - picked something moderately priced - and subsequently shared sweet moments...

I think I have found a little piece heaven even in tough times.

Oldie on Seattle 2006

The Succulent and Orange County

I went to the OC over the past weekend hoping to go to Disneyland for a day.  Instead, I came back with a small succulent with the species name "babies toes".   Although I didn't go to Disneyland hence was unable to rid my childhood favorite ride (Pirates) - I came back with a the perfect surreal succulent found in a farmer's market in one of the myriad number of strip malls in Irvine.  The baby toes form a 'CG' like plant.  I hope to keep this plant for a while.  Life can yield good things even at $3.

Smultronstället (The Wild Stawberries)

This 91 min movie was my first Ingmar Bergman film - made in a very appropriate black and white setting.  Prior to watching this film I knew little of Bergman, only knew of his recent death, stiff Swedish background, estrangement with his parents and most of all his notoriety in having created contemplative films.  

This film is almost a non-holiday Swedish 'Christmas Carol' story.  The protagonist, Dr. Isak Borg journeys from his home to the University town of Lund University to receive honors for his 50 years in the medical practice.  Throughout the movie, Dr. Borg encounters a variety of dreams and hallucinations which reveal - despite his reputation on paper  - he is an empty man - in need of reform.  The movie leaves questions in ones mind about how Dr.Borg has reached a point of selfish hollow existence - meant for the viewer to fill in the blanks.  In short, the audience can understand that Dr. Borg has achieved internal change by the end of the film.

Overall, the film has spooky undertones, mostly dark music - the only thing I can equate the film mood to - is a 91 minute long Twighlight zone episode.

Coming from watching mostly and many Hollywood films - I find the need to reach some conclusions about this on the surface uneventful movie.  I am a product of my influences - I have concluded that change can happen despite age and one cannot truly be defined by career - rather should be can be defined by relationships with personal relationships in ones life.

Vancouver, June 9-13

I went to Vancouver shortly after quitting BDO.  I had hoped to find independence in a safe BC location.

First Impressions

Rained out and ragged from the Northwest Monday pour, I checked into the Grand Truck Hostel in the Gastown District with little expectations especially with the unheard of price of $15 a night. Even without what I thought to have been little expectations, I was astonished by the haunted interior and most of all the shelter like conditions reflected in the spring apparent bottom bunk that was marked to be mine for the next 4 nights.  Next to my bed was a green circa 1970's refrigerator accompanied by an even older television playing a football/soccer game.  Two of the other hostelers in the 8 person bunk looked spaced, unfriendly and young.  Timid and scared of leaving my baggage out with the young zombie hostellers for too long, I ran downstairs to the only free computer and quickly found the priciest hostel listed on hostelworld.com.  "Do you have availability for June 9-13 ?" I inquired.  The British voice affirmed "yes" and with that I quickly apologized to the Canadian at the front and forfeited my $15 night's stay in place of the cozy, clean, party animal infested SameSun Hostel on Granville Street.

Two Days of Independence

I spent the first two days wandering Vancouver on my own.  I ate ramen 3 nights in a row.  My alone time was something I have learned to cherish.  I rode a rented bike around Stanley Park - nearly getting lost as I followed the water...I watched my first movie alone - it was "In Bruges" the film my dear friend was an extra in...soon, I became bored of Vancouver - by the end of my second day - I vowed that I would simply buy a book and check into a coffee shop...waiting for the day of my departure back to the Bay Area...I remember calling Phil despite the $.60/minute charge searching for some confirmation of existence... 

Blessed Companionship

The night of Wednesday, I arrived back to the hostel and had a chance to chat with my fellow hostelers.   Fortunately, all the girls in my hostel were independent travelers.  My biggest fear in having booked at  Same Sun was being roomed up with a bunch of young girls - having the party of their lives.  Perhaps the person at the front sensed my fear, he gave me a room with other independent travelers.  For the remaining 3 days, I spent my time with Alex a girl from Munchen.   We made chit chat, had quiet moments - walked a lot -saw the magnificent pedestrian Capiliano suspension bridge, browsed antiques,  it was so nice to have a companion.

Vancouver is a nice city to live perhaps - not so much of a place to visit.